she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize