when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
