And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
