I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
