i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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