I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Damn victory sex feels great
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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