Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
