I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
