I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
