Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
