Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I won't apologize to a one balled man
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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