Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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