Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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