Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
