I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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