dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
The struggles of a small town man whore
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
