Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
