that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
