what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
