What did we do last night that was yellow?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
