bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
