We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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