Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I'm always down for nudity.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
