It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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