I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
