Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
