I think I won the penis lottery.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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