I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Pants are for mortals
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
