I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
