My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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