"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
