Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
