Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
