It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Randomize
