I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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