when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
