OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM VODKA MAN
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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