just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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