new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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