sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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