I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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