We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Randomize
