Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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