It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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