I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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