so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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