Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
