sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
How's work?
Spinning.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
