You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
