he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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