i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
