Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
