if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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