Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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