I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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