I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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