We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
