i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
