Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
