I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize