I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
