Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Randomize
